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The Most Powerful Person in the World This Week: Angela Merkel, Eli Manning, Woke Rich People & the FBI

Reasonable people can disagree about “genius,” but no human being who has not been lobotomized would accuse Eagles fans of civilized behavior. 

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Animals, 

One of the top privileges of being in charge of The Keendawg Show is getting to choose who the most powerful person in the world is every week.  

With that as prologue, let me summarize the news that is forming this week’s brawl for Top Dog:   

  • A Hollywood mega-merger is challenging streamers like Netflix’s ascent to the top of the entertainment industry 
  • The MacArthur Foundation has basically pivoted from providing Genius Grants to Justice Grants and is officially more woke than a 40-year-old white woman living in a gated community 
  • The city of Philadelphia has ruined Eli Manning’s life again 
  • Germany is about to have a new Chancellor 
  • The FBI has said that pretty much everyone in America was either murdered or involved in murdering someone last year 

Here are the nominations for Most Powerful Person in the World This Week: 

OLD HOLLYWOOD IS BACK—Creative Artists Agency (CAA)

CAA, the mega-agency that controls half of Hollywood’s A-list talent, has announced a merger with ICM Partners, another representation superpower.  

Basically, this is the Hollywood equivalent of the US Army merging with the British to fight-off a common enemy: streaming services like Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu that have invaded Hollywood and are pushing down wages for the actors, writers, and directors that CAA represents.  

The gauntlet has been thrown-down: it’s people who get laid (movie stars) vs. people who get paid (tech bros). 

We’ll see who wins this round. 

THE TERM “GENIUS” GETS WOKE  

One of the things that rich people enjoy doing the most is claiming to own stuff that is clearly not theirs.  

For example, the beach in front of their vacation home, a patent on a product that their company doesn’t even make, or the vote of a senator who they greased early on.  

Which brings us to the MacArthur Foundation and its $7 billion endowment. 

The MacArthur Foundation claims to own the term “genius” due to the fact that each year, it hands out 25 “Genius Grants” to people who are at the top of their fields.  

This year, a Genius Grant was worth about $600,000. 

But something interesting happened with this year’s class of MacArthur Fellows: the criteria for “genius” was heavily weighted towards being an evangelist for Woke causes. 

In fact, 17 of the 25 “geniuses” were full-time social justice warriors, with only 7 fellows coming from hard sciences.  

Clearly, the Foundation has defined “Genius” as public intellectual focused on depicting America as a bad place.  

Well, another place we remember fondly has been conquered by the Woke Mob. 

Are these “Genius” grants or “Justice” grants?  

Laugh all you want. But owning either of these words is a serious power, especially when you get to put $600,000 in the pockets of people who want to make the world over in their image. 

PHILADELPHIA SPORTS FANS RUIN EVERYTHING (AGAIN) 

Reasonable people can disagree about what constitutes “genius,” but no human being who has not been lobotomized would ever accuse the Philadelphia Eagles of encouraging fans to behave in a civilized way. 

On Monday night, the Dallas Cowboys were blowing the Eagles out (as usual).  

But no one is talking about that.  

Instead, people are massively triggered that Eli Manning flipped 2 middle fingers at ABC’s cameras in order to demonstrate how he was treated every time he played in Philadelphia. 

Now, Eli is the bad guy – not the losing Eagles with their lunatic fans. 

Is there any city that exerts more authority in professional sports by losing, having terrible sportsmanship, and encouraging fans to behave like a subhuman species?  

No, that only happens in Philadelphia. And that, my friends, is power of its own kind. 

OLAF SCHOLZ IS ON TRACK TO REPLACE ANGELA MERKEL

To be honest, having to be the German Chancellor who replaces Angela Merkel is a big task. That is like being Jesse Usher & Liam Hemsworth attempting to fill Will Smith’s shoes in Independence Day 2. It is just more work than any single human can do. 

But Germany remains one of the most powerful nations in the world and is central to many of the modern era’s struggles: how to keep Putin at bay, integrating a society with waves of migrants from the developing world, and rebuilding an export economy during a pandemic.  

Then there is the fact that a German Chancellor’s time in power tends to be about as long as a German Shepherd’s time on earth – easily north of 10 years.  

So by default, we gotta give Olaf the nod.  

Is he the most powerful person in the world this week? Or is he just a chump standing in the long shadow of this century’s greatest democratic leader, Angela Merkel? 

FBI DIRECTOR CHRISTOPHER WRAY STEPS UP TO SOLVE AMERICA’S MURDER PROBLEM 

Animals, we should not joke about murder.  

But the fact is that everyone in America is doing it.  

FBI Director Christopher Wray greenlit his agency to release some very damning data that shows the national murder rate climbing faster than it ever has.  

On top of that, the data also shows that both the victims and perpetrators are disproportionately black. 

This is a huge problem for a million reasons.  

And it’s sure to disrupt the highly emotional debate America has been having over crime and policing in recent years.  

The good news is that the first step to solving a problem is admitting that we have one.  

For that, Director Wray should get some snaps. 

But the true power will be in making the difficult decisions that get this crime wave under control.  

Hopefully, we’ll be back in a few months patting Director Wray on the back for a job well-done. 

Who do you think the most powerful person in the world is this week? Here’s the full conversation with Pratik and Arya: 

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Why No One Is Truly Opposed to Dumb COVID Rules

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A staffer holds up a sign to advise fans of the mandatory mask rule in the first half of an NCAA college basketball game between Tennessee and Colorado Saturday, Dec. 4, 2021, in Boulder, Colo. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

Animals,

Let’s face it. We all work in customer service. If you sell car insurance, you better be ready to provide speedy payment to your clients when a tree falls onto their Prius.

And if you’re a doctor who wants to keep his patients, you’d better treat them with respect. That means short waiting room times and pretending that their questions (“Does this rash mean I have cancer”) aren’t as crazy as they sound.

Then there are professionals in 100% service-based industries like marketing, law, and — GASP – government. For them, customer service is arguably the most important part of the job.

In these industries, clients don’t really understand what you do for them, so appearing to be responsive, empathetic, and on-top of things is half the job.

Which brings us to Joe Biden’s COVID speech on Thursday, where he laid out his “Winter Plan” to stop COVID’s seasonal spike that happens whenever the weather gets cold.

President Biden speaks at the National Institutes of Health, Dec. 2, 2021, in Bethesda, Md. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Lurking in the background of Biden’s speech was the omicron variant, which some experts fear will bring new dangers to our shores.

The president proposed several interventions to dampen omicron and COVID’s winter spike, but if we’re being honest, his speech was really just a customer service exercise. It was President Joe Biden attempting to convince his clients – voters – that he’s responsive, empathetic, and on top of things.

As The Washington Post reported: “The president’s plan includes campaigns to increase vaccinations and booster shots, more stringent testing for international travelers and plans to make rapid at-home coronavirus testing free for more people.”

So basically… more of the same, plus an annoying COVID test if you travel internationally.

That doesn’t sound like much news at all.

(AP Photo/Alastair Grant)

By now, we know that COVID policies like mandatory masking and compulsory testing aren’t going to deliver great results, especially in an increasingly vaccinated America. Deep down, most of us probably agree that these policies are more about creating the appearance that our leaders are on top of things than actually yielding compelling public health benefits.

But is there another way for Joe Biden? Should he just sit in the White House and do nothing, as his critics in the Republican Party demand?

And would President Ron DeSantis or President Nikki Haley really act differently, if given the chance? Would they want to be on the hook personally for preventable death, even if it meant burdening Americans with dumb masking and testing rules that cut against their small government philosophy?

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (AP Photo/Chris O’Meara)

The national debate surrounding COVID boils down to risk. The president and many others believe that added COVID mandates, as onerous as they may be, are worth it because they’ll save lives. Critics see it the other way. They believe that continuing to disrupt American life is causing greater damage to the economy and the nation’s social fabric than whatever the public health benefits these mandates may hold.

Both arguments are true. And that’s why it stinks to be the president.

Joe Biden’s bully pulpit has enormous power when it comes to shaping the world’s opinion about any given issue. Unfortunately, the virus isn’t listening.

(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Alex “Keendawg” Keeney is a media personality whose work has been published widely. He has worked as a Congressional aide, TV writer, and marketing executive for the real Wolf of Wall Street. Follow him on Twitter @keendawg.

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Queen Nicki Leaves No Crumbs After Hosting the RHOP Reunion| The Tea

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Plus, Kanye’s Heartbreak, Celebrity Illness shockers and Jen Shah’s legal woes just got worse.

On this episode of “The Tea” Ashley, Blake and Brie dive into celebrity illness and heartbreak. To share, or not to share, that is the question. 

Keep reading and watch the episode below for fresh takes on the latest entertainment and celebrity news shot live from the Erupt studio in Hollywood.

RIP Virgil Abloh

On Sunday November 28, the fashion and entertainment community lost designer and fashion visionary Virgil Abloh.

He was the first African American artistic director at Louis Vuitton and founded the renowned culture and streetwear brand Off-White.

Abloh kept his 2-year battle with cardiac angiosarcoma, a rare cancer of the heart, hidden from most. He was 41.

“The Tea” hosts discuss Abloh’s decision to keep his diagnosis a secret like some stars including Chadwick Boseman and Robin Williams, versus stars who choose to share their battles publicly, like Selma Blair and Christina Applegate.

(AP Photo/Thibault Camus)
(Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Kanye Wants His Family Back

Kanye West, who was a close friend to Virgil Abloh, took to social media over the weekend expressing his intention to bring his family back together. Saying that doing so would influence millions of other families to reconcile too.

As reported in earlier episodes of The Tea, there is speculation Ye’s estranged wife, Kim Kardashian, is currently dating comedian Pete Davidson.

Could Kimye 2.0 be in our future? The Tea hosts discuss.

(AP Photo/Rick Bowmer)

Jen Shah’s Right-Hand Man Pleads Guilty

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star Jen Shah along with her personal assistant Stuart Smith were charged with fraud back in March.

Initially, Smith gave a not guilty plea but recently flipped his plea to guilty.

Shah still maintains her innocence.

(Bravo TV)

Nicki Hosts RHOP Reunion

Nicki Minaj took over Andy Cohen’s chair to host episode 4 of the Real Housewives of Potomac reunion and we are here for it!

Nicki didn’t hold back and asked all the questions we’ve been dying to know. On top of that, no housewife was spared. 

They all got the smoke-equally.

Could celebrity reunion hosts bring new life to the housewives’ franchise? 

The hosts discuss who we’d love to see host next.

Watch The Tea get spilled here:

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The Omicron “Scary-iant” & Football Funny Money | Political Drinking Games

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Animals,  

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year has just intersected with the most wonderful time of the week. 

By that I mean, it’s time to put a little Christmas spirit into Erupt’s political drinking games. 

On offer this week: 

  • The world has a new COVID variant. Congratulations, omicron! 
  • Twitter has a new CEO. Will he be as powerful as his predecessor, Jack Dorsey? 
  • CNN cancels Chris Cuomo (“suspends”) for using his anchorman powers to help embattled brother, Andrew 
  • The USA and EU cancel South Africa in COVID panic 
  • Trump’s top advisor sets a date with Congress to snitch on the Boss 
  • The NFL and College football continue to spend ridiculous amounts of money on truly ridiculous things.  
  • The term “Happy Holidays” gets put to rest. 

AND… A VERY SPECIAL GUEST JOINS: 

Curt Mills, contributing editor at The American Conservative and also a writer for Un-Herd. We’ll see how this silk-stocking Washington, D.C., columnist holds up in our chamber of pain.  

WATCH THIS WEEK’S POLITICAL DRINKING GAMES:

Alex “Keendawg” Keeney is a media personality whose work has been published widely. He has worked as a Congressional aide, TV writer, and marketing executive for the real Wolf of Wall Street. Follow him on Twitter @keendawg. 

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